True love (Part I) : Learning to Truly Love Yourself

We often talk about love as if it’s obvious.

As if we all know what it means…

and especially, how it’s supposed to feel.

But in truth, we often confuse love with so many other things: affection, devotion, possessiveness… or passion.

We say “I love you,” but sometimes what we really mean is:

“I need you to feel okay.”

And the reason we confuse it so easily is simple:

because we were hardly ever taught what it actually means to truly love.

In the last article, I talked about selfishness.

And I told you that taking care of yourself isn’t selfish:

👉 It’s being responsible.

👉 It’s loving yourself.

So here’s the natural next step in that reflection.

Let me take you into the first chapter on true love: the one you build with yourself.

Because before we can love others with respect, freedom, and fairness,

we first need to learn how to love ourselves… in exactly the same way.

True love starts with you

That’s right—true love begins right here.

Within you. With you.

To be able to love someone else unconditionally,

we first have to learn to love ourselves exactly the same way.

To truly love is to give yourself the space to exist,

even on the days when you don’t like what you see.

Even when you feel like you’re too much or not enough.

So, to help you cultivate that kind of love,

I’ve put together a little list of self-love mantras 💛

You can read them, re-read them, repeat them…

Like a gentle inner compass to bring you back to yourself.

✨ I give myself permission to be who I am, in every moment.

Let’s be honest—

we’re rarely 100% satisfied with ourselves.

Too sensitive. Not organized enough. Too impulsive. Not disciplined enough.

And more often than not, our harshest critic isn’t someone else.

It’s us.

So the first act of love is to stop waging that inner war…

And to allow ourselves to just be, even—especially—when it’s messy or uncomfortable.

✨ I accept my differences without judgment.

We spend our lives comparing.

A little more like her. A little less like him.

Always falling short of some ideal… that doesn’t actually exist.

And who’s comparing?

You guessed it—our dear old ego. It loves that game.

But real love means knowing how to pause the comparison game,

and gently say:

“I am who I am. And that’s more than enough.”

✨ I let myself feel joy… even if I don’t think I’ve earned it.

Sometimes we treat ourselves like a strict parent would.

“You did well? Okay, now you’ve earned your reward.”

But self-love isn’t about earning anything.

It’s knowing that we’re doing our best, every single day.

And that pleasure, softness, joy—

they should never come with conditions.

✨ I give myself permission to be human.

You’ll hear me say this often…

Because we forget it so easily.

When we reject our weaknesses,

blame ourselves for being afraid,

or criticize ourselves for not moving fast enough…

We forget one simple thing:

we’re human.

To love ourselves is also to

embrace every part of who we are.

✨ I remind myself that everything I go through is an experience.

We’re quick to slap a label on anything that hurts:

“Failure.” “Mistake.”

And what follows? Harsh self-judgment… which is anything but love.

So let’s shift our view.

Let’s choose to see these moments as experiences.

Not punishments. Not flaws.

Just passages

that teach us something about ourselves.

That wake us up.

That show us what still needs healing.

Instead of condemning myself,

I choose to learn.

✨ I let my heart decide. And I trust it.

It’s not always easy.

Because we’ve been taught to listen to logic, to morals, to “good advice”…

But true love also means knowing how to follow what resonates within,

and trusting what feels truly right.

Even if it goes against the current.

Even if others don’t get it.

✨ I listen to my needs, even when others think they know better.

The people around us often mean well.

But sometimes, they project their fears or their beliefs onto us.

So I thank them for their intentions,

but I stay connected to what I deeply feel—

to what I know is right for me.

✨ I feel okay, even when I don’t meet my own expectations.

Sometimes, I fall short.

I don’t keep my promises—to myself or to others.

I disappoint a little. I struggle.

And that’s okay.

I remind myself that love isn’t something you earn through performance.

I feel okay…

even when I don’t tick all the boxes.

✨ I observe what’s happening… even when a voice inside disagrees.

We all know that voice.

The one that criticizes. Judges. Doubts.

It’s our ego, speaking from its old fears.

So I listen to it…

but I no longer let it call the shots.

I choose what’s good for me,

and slowly loosen the grip of its old rules.

✨ I remind myself that no one else can be in charge of my happiness.

This is the big one.

No one can make me happy.

No one has the power to fill the emptiness that only I can fill.

I am responsible for my own happiness.

And that is both a deep truth…

and a huge freedom.

Loving yourself isn’t a destination. It’s a direction.

Self-love isn’t a mountain to climb.

It’s a path we choose to walk.

A way of looking at ourselves—again and again—with gentleness.

And every small step in that direction is already a victory.

You are a beautiful human being.

Let yourself be loved—by you.

So even if you doubt, even if you stumble…

come back to these mantras. Come back to your heart.

Because the more you love yourself,

the more you can love others… without losing yourself.

And that’s what we’ll dive into in Part 2. 💛