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In the first part of this article, we talked about the often-forgotten foundation of true love — the one that changes everything. Self-love. Today, we continue the journey. Because loving yourself  is also what allows you to love others… without losing yourself along the way. Not through sacrifice. Not through dependency. Not through control. But through freedom, presence, and mutual respect. So what does that kind of love  actually look like? The kind you give, that doesn’t fade—even when the other person lets you down. The kind that walks alongside someone, without trying to lead the way. The kind that loves, without needing to possess. Just like in Part 1, I’ve prepared a collection of 10 mantras for you to read, reread, and let slowly sink in ✨ True love… when it’s shared with others Let’s take a look at what true love can feel like… when it flows between us and others. And you’ll notice — these mantras sound a lot like the ones from self-love. Because no matter what kind of love we’re talking about — romantic, friendly, familial, or parental — true love always speaks the same language. A language of freedom, respect, and non-judgment. ✨ I give them permission to be who they are, in every moment. You can love people deeply… and still find them hard to deal with sometimes. 😅 But real love isn’t about loving only when it suits us. It’s about loving even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when what they say, do, or believe doesn’t match what we would’ve chosen. To love is to accept the other person as they are— without trying to change them. ✨ I accept others’ differences without judgment. Let’s be real: We hate  being compared to someone else. “Your brother this, your colleague that…” Ugh. Nightmare. So why would we do that to the people we love? To love is to recognize that the other is different— and that it’s precisely what makes them unique. No need to compare them to anyone. They’re already enough. ✨ I offer advice without expectations. Sometimes, we just want to help. We give advice, suggestions, support… But if we expect the other person to thank us, listen to us, or follow our advice— we’re no longer in love. We’re in conditional exchange . True love? It gives without expectation . Just because it wants  to give. ✨ I allow them to be human. Just like me, others have the right to feel fear, to be vulnerable, to fall apart sometimes. I no longer expect them to be perfect. I no longer hold them to an ideal version of themselves— one I made up in my own head. I choose to love them as a whole. ✨ I let them make their own choices. There are decisions I don’t understand. Choices I disagree with. But real love means allowing the other person to choose what resonates for them — Even if, to me, it makes no sense. Even if I would’ve done the exact opposite. Because I’m not in their shoes. And I can’t know what feels right to their heart. ✨ I remember that everyone lives the experiences they need. Sometimes we want to “protect” the people we love. Keep them from getting hurt. Stop them from making mistakes. But every person has their own path. Their own wounds to heal. Their own lessons to live through. So I stop trying to step in at all costs. And I let the other person live what they need to live. Even if it breaks my heart. ✨ I make requests without expectations. I have the right to express how I feel. To ask for what I need. But I learn to do it without demanding . Without hoping for a “yes” to prove that I’m loved. Because I know I’m loved, even when the answer is no. ✨ I express my expectations clearly. Many of us fall into this trap: “He should’ve guessed.” “If she loved me, she’d just know…” But no. The other person doesn’t have a crystal ball. Sadly 😂 And an expectation can only be honored… if it’s expressed. So I stop assuming. And I start communicating. It’s clearer. It’s fairer. And it saves a lot of unnecessary hurt. ✨ I observe instead of judging. The ego loves to judge. It loves spotting flaws in others so it can feel “above” them. But I don’t need that to feel worthy. I let go of judgment. And I learn to observe with kindness , instead of criticizing to feel safe. ✨ I remind myself that I can’t make someone else happy. I can love. I can support. I can show up with all my heart. But I can’t heal in their place . I can’t fill their emptiness for them. Because happiness is an inner journey. And each of us is responsible for our own. Loving without losing, loving without holding on To truly love is to let the other person be free. Free to say no. Free to fail. Free to discover who they are. It’s no longer about trying to fit them into our mold… but choosing to see them as they are , not as we wish they were. And in that gaze, letting love flow. A love that doesn’t take. Doesn’t possess. But that gives. Walks alongside. And sets free. Because to love isn’t to give all of yourself to the other… It’s to show up together , each in your own truth. And remember: the more you love yourself… the more you can love others without losing yourself. 💛

We often talk about love as if it’s obvious. As if we all know what it means… and especially, how it’s supposed to feel. But in truth, we often confuse love with so many other things: affection, devotion, possessiveness… or passion. We say “I love you,” but sometimes what we really mean is: “I need you to feel okay.” And the reason we confuse it so easily is simple: because we were hardly ever taught  what it actually means to truly love. In the last article, I talked about selfishness. And I told you that taking care of yourself isn’t selfish : 👉 It’s being responsible. 👉 It’s loving yourself. So here’s the natural next step in that reflection. Let me take you into the first chapter on true love: the one you build with yourself . Because before we can love others with respect, freedom, and fairness , we first need to learn how to love ourselves… in exactly the same way. True love starts with you That’s right—true love begins right here. Within you. With you. To be able to love someone else unconditionally, we first have to learn to love ourselves exactly the same way. To truly love is to give yourself the space to exist , even on the days when you don’t like what you see. Even when you feel like you’re too much  or not enough . So, to help you cultivate that kind of love, I’ve put together a little list of self-love mantras  💛 You can read them, re-read them, repeat them… Like a gentle inner compass to bring you back to yourself. ✨ I give myself permission to be who I am, in every moment. Let’s be honest— we’re rarely 100% satisfied with ourselves. Too sensitive. Not organized enough. Too impulsive. Not disciplined enough. And more often than not, our harshest critic isn’t someone else. It’s us. So the first act of love is to stop waging that inner war… And to allow ourselves to just be , even—especially—when it’s messy or uncomfortable. ✨ I accept my differences without judgment. We spend our lives comparing. A little more like her. A little less like him. Always falling short of some ideal… that doesn’t actually exist. And who’s comparing? You guessed it—our dear old ego. It loves that game. But real love means knowing how to pause the comparison game , and gently say: “I am who I am. And that’s more than enough.” ✨ I let myself feel joy… even if I don’t think I’ve earned it. Sometimes we treat ourselves like a strict parent would. “You did well? Okay, now you’ve earned your reward.” But self-love isn’t about earning anything. It’s knowing that we’re doing our best , every single day. And that pleasure, softness, joy— they should never come with conditions. ✨ I give myself permission to be human. You’ll hear me say this often… Because we forget it so  easily. When we reject our weaknesses, blame ourselves for being afraid, or criticize ourselves for not moving fast enough… We forget one simple thing: we’re human. To love ourselves is also to embrace every part of who we are. ✨ I remind myself that everything I go through is an experience. We’re quick to slap a label on anything that hurts: “Failure.” “Mistake.” And what follows? Harsh self-judgment… which is anything but love. So let’s shift our view. Let’s choose to see these moments as experiences. Not punishments. Not flaws. Just passages that teach us something about ourselves . That wake us up. That show us what still needs healing. Instead of condemning myself, I choose to learn. ✨ I let my heart decide. And I trust it. It’s not always easy. Because we’ve been taught to listen to logic, to morals, to “good advice”… But true love also means knowing how to follow what resonates within , and trusting what feels truly right . Even if it goes against the current. Even if others don’t get it. ✨ I listen to my needs, even when others think they know better. The people around us often mean well. But sometimes, they project their fears  or their beliefs  onto us. So I thank them for their intentions, but I stay connected to what I deeply feel — to what I know is right for me. ✨ I feel okay, even when I don’t meet my own expectations. Sometimes, I fall short. I don’t keep my promises—to myself or to others. I disappoint a little. I struggle. And that’s okay. I remind myself that love isn’t something you earn through performance. I feel okay… even when I don’t tick all the boxes. ✨ I observe what’s happening… even when a voice inside disagrees. We all know that voice. The one that criticizes. Judges. Doubts. It’s our ego, speaking from its old fears . So I listen to it… but I no longer let it call the shots. I choose what’s good for me , and slowly loosen the grip of its old rules. ✨ I remind myself that no one else can be in charge of my happiness. This is the big one. No one can make me happy. No one has the power to fill the emptiness that only I can fill. I am responsible for my own happiness. And that is both a deep truth… and a huge freedom. Loving yourself isn’t a destination. It’s a direction. Self-love isn’t a mountain to climb. It’s a path we choose to walk. A way of looking at ourselves—again and again—with gentleness . And every small step in that direction is already a victory. You are a beautiful human being. Let yourself be loved—by you . So even if you doubt, even if you stumble… come back to these mantras. Come back to your heart. Because the more you love yourself , the more you can love others… without losing yourself. And that’s what we’ll dive into in Part 2 . 💛

We were taught that selfishness  means putting yourself before others . We were told that if we sought our own pleasure, if we prioritized our needs over others’, then we were… selfish. And in our minds, selfish = cold, self-centered, uncaring . Not exactly traits we want to add to our inner résumé. So, we learned the lesson well. We learned to put others first. To forget ourselves a little. A lot. Often. And now, when we dare to say no—when we say: “I need some time for myself right now” — something feels off. We feel guilty . We’re afraid of being seen as selfish . And sometimes, we even end up pushing ourselves past our limits , just to avoid that label. But let me tell you something: 👉 Putting your needs first isn’t selfish. 👉 It’s love. Self-love. And that, right there, is the starting point for everything else. (But that’s a topic for another post 😉) So… what does being selfish really mean? We often think the selfish person is the one who puts themselves first. But the real definition lies elsewhere. Being selfish  means expecting someone else to meet our needs before their own. It means taking without caring what it costs the other. It means believing others are responsible for our happiness . 💭 “He should’ve thought about me.” 💭 “She could’ve made an effort.” 💭 “I was counting on him/her.” And when that expectation isn’t met, we call them  selfish. But… Who’s really asking the other to fill their need here? When you say no to someone to take care of yourself, and they call you selfish… Ask yourself this: 👉 Who’s expecting the other to set themselves aside in order to give? Spoiler alert: it’s not you. 😉 When I take care of myself… what am I taking away from the other person? Nothing. I’m not stealing. I’m not depriving. I’m simply responding to my own need . And if someone calls me selfish because I say no , because I choose to rest instead of helping , because I put my energy first … …then maybe that person was expecting something from me to meet their own need . And maybe that’s  what selfishness really is: Expecting someone else to fill our emptiness . Hoping someone else will forget themselves… for us. What we call “selfishness” is often just projection In truth, we often call others selfish… when they don’t meet our expectations. 💭 Didn’t call me back? Selfish. 💭 Declined my invitation? Selfish. 💭 Put themselves first instead of thinking about me? Definitely selfish. But they’re not actually being selfish in those moments. We’re simply projecting our unmet need  onto them. So what if we looked at this differently? Because deep down, it’s not thinking of ourselves that damages our relationships . It’s forgetting ourselves—and then resenting others for not noticing. Thinking of yourself means choosing to be your true self. It means choosing to respect yourself, so you can love others without expecting them to save you. And if you want to build healthy, nourishing, balanced relationships… Start by showing up for yourself. Not against  others, But with yourself . Because in the end, you can’t offer yourself to someone else if you no longer belong to you. And that, my friend, isn’t selfishness. It’s deep, beautiful love.  💛

If I asked you to jot down your strengths and flaws on a piece of paper, you could probably do it pretty easily, right? Over time, we get to know ourselves. We know we're more like this  than like that . “I have a short temper.” “Punctuality and I don’t get along.” “I’m someone who tells it like it is.” “I’m resilient.” Basically, we’ve got our list sorted: strengths on one side, flaws on the other. And of course, it would never cross our minds to say we have a quality and its opposite . If I’m impatient, then I’m not patient— Right? We can’t be both. That wouldn’t make any sense… At least, that’s what I used to believe. But then, through my journey with Listen to Your Body , I discovered something that turned that belief upside down. What if our strengths and flaws were inseparable? We tend to think we’re either strong or fragile. Either brave or cowardly. Either generous or stingy. But the truth is: We are all of it. Not necessarily to the same degree. Not all the time. It depends on the moment. It depends on the context. But, each personality trait is like a coin. On one side, there’s the strength. On the other, the flaw. And you can’t have a coin with only one side. If you’ve got one, you’ve automatically got the other. The fact that we show one side more often than the other doesn’t mean the flip side doesn’t exist. Becoming aware of this changes everything. Because this idea that we’re one way or another… It’s not reality. It’s a construct of the ego —a convenient little shortcut to put us into neat little boxes  and avoid change. When your ego decides who you are… and stops you from being you The ego loves labels. It finds them reassuring. They give it a clear identity . And more importantly… they help it avoid change. Let me give you a concrete example. As far back as I can remember, I’ve always been a hard worker. Financially independent since I was 18, I worked my way through everything. Then in my career, I kept up the pace: leadership roles at a young age, nonstop hustle, full-throttle work mode. Hardworking, resilient… it became my identity . And honestly, on paper, it looked like a good thing. But the problem was, I had become just one side of the coin . So what happened when I needed to tap into the other side ? When I needed to slow down ? To make time for myself ? To do nothing ? I couldn’t. If I wanted to spend a weekend wrapped in a blanket, doing absolutely nothing, binge-watching series instead of being “productive”… That voice in my head would kick in: 💭 “Come on, lazybones. Get it together!” 💭 “You’re seriously just gonna lie around all day?” 💭 “You’ve got things to do—get moving!” Because to my ego, I had become Wonder Woman . And Wonder Woman doesn’t lounge around in fuzzy pajamas watching Netflix. And the few times I did  finally give in and rest, once I’d hit my limit… I couldn’t even enjoy it. The guilt would eat me alive. Because in my mind, resting was wrong. The ego blocks us from evolving (in both directions) And guess what? This mechanism works the other way too— with the flaws we assign to ourselves. Let’s take another example. A few years ago, tired of hating my body, I decided to start working out. My ego threw a party. 🎉 💭 “Pff, please. You’re not athletic.” 💭 “How long is this gonna last—one week?” 💭 “You’ve been saying you’ll quit smoking for five years and never did. No willpower. Working out? Yeah, right.” The ego is a sniper. It knows exactly where to aim  to shut us down. It’ll do whatever it takes to win—and it knows just how to manipulate us. Why? Because it’s stuck in the past . It doesn’t believe we can change. It’s terrified we might. That would disrupt the entire identity it’s built and holds onto so tightly. So it simply refuses  to see us any other way. It stops us from accepting  parts of ourselves it finds “unacceptable.” (If I allow myself to rest 👉 I’m lazy 👉 lazy is bad.) It stops us from exploring new parts of who we are. (If I’ve never been sporty 👉 I never will be.) Basically, it locks us in a mental prison. And the worst part? We don’t even realize we’re locked in. What if we let go of that illusion? We’re human. We evolve . We’re paradoxical . We’re many things at once. So why not give ourselves permission to be all our parts? 👉 To be a hard worker and  a procrastinator. 👉 To be patient and  impatient. 👉 To be strong and  vulnerable. At Listen to Your Body , they often say: “The more you resist, the more it persists.” And it’s true. The more I tried to force myself to keep going , the more I felt the need to slow down . Because the key is acceptance . It’s by accepting  who we don’t want to be… that we become free to shift. Embracing all our sides is how we reclaim the power to choose These days, I try not to define myself by strengths or weaknesses . I try to embrace every part of me. I see my personality traits like clothes in my closet . In there, I’ve got my Wonder Woman costume , but I also have my fluffy pajama pants . I’m learning to wear those pajamas. More importantly, I’m learning to feel good in them . Because the more I embrace them, the easier it is to put the Wonder Woman suit back on— without turning it into armor. And you… what’s in your closet?  😉

We hear it everywhere: “Become the best version of yourself.” On paper, it sounds great. Inspiring, even. But if we dig a little deeper… it raises some questions. Because saying "become better"  implies that the current version of us is… somehow lacking . Not quite enough yet. As if we had untapped potential, an upgraded version quietly waiting for us to unlock it. Basically, the hidden message is: “You're not good enough as you are. You've got work to do before you measure up.” Ouch. And honestly, it reeks of performance pressure . “Be stronger. Be more productive. Achieve more.” It's basically personal development, ultra-perfectionist style. But for me, personal growth is the exact opposite. When "being better" becomes a trap This part of me that always wants more, that never feels enough, that needs to prove she deserves love… Today I know clearly: that's not me. That’s my ego . The voice whispering: “You should…” “If only you did that…” “You have to be perfect.” Sound familiar? We spend so much time chasing after this so-called "better version"  of ourselves, when actually we’re already exactly where we’re meant to be. Loving yourself now, not “later” One of the greatest gifts personal development has given me is learning to love myself exactly as I am. To understand that I’m already me. That my current version isn’t some unfinished or faulty prototype. It's exactly who it needs to be right now . I’ve learned to give myself time . And, most importantly… I’ve learned to cut myself some slack . Perfectly imperfect My current self isn't perfect , in the way my mind wants it to be. But spiritually, it is. 👉 My doubts, fears, and current limits, 👉 Lessons I thought I'd mastered but have to learn again, 👉 Those times I believed my choices were free… but it was my ego pulling the strings. All of that is simply… life. Experience. The journey. And that’s exactly how we grow. What if, instead of “being better,” we were just… us? Rather than constantly striving to change ourselves , What if we first learned how to truly be ourselves ? Because when we start seeing clearly inside, When we realize how often fear has guided us , When we understand how many choices weren’t even ours … That's when the magic begins. ✨ That’s when we reclaim our power. Maybe the real key isn’t about becoming a better version—but becoming the REAL version of ourselves.

Ouch. That stings a bit, doesn’t it? 😏 One of the core teachings of Lise Bourbeau revolves around the idea of responsibility: “I am only responsible for my life.” In other words, no one has the power to make me happy or unhappy. And likewise, I don't have the power to make anyone else happy. On paper, easy. Logical, even. We tell ourselves: “Okay, from now on, I'll take care of myself and stop depending on others for my happiness.” And also, “If someone close to me is unhappy, I leave them responsible for their own emotions. I'll stop trying to save everyone.” So far, so good. A dash of self-control, a pinch of discipline, and we’re sorted. Well… at least in theory. Because in practice, things get messy pretty quickly. Me, for example, I used to think the hardest part would be hanging up my superhero cape . Resisting the urge to run to the rescue of those I love. And yes, that was indeed a challenge, but I believed I'd eventually manage to discipline myself, little by little. But then came the big slap in the face: applying this concept to life’s trials. We’ve all been through times where injustice hit us right in the heart. Moments where we felt hurt, abandoned, betrayed, broken. And then someone tells you: “All these hardships... You’re responsible for them.” Um… excuse me, what? 😳 The first reaction? Complete rejection. “This is absurd! Why on earth would I have inflicted this upon myself?!” When we remember those times when we fought hard to save a relationship , when we gave endlessly , when we tried so hard we lost ourselves … it's pretty tough to believe we’re 100% responsible . “It wasn’t JUST my responsibility!” “It takes two to make it work!” “If I'm the only one making an effort, obviously it couldn't have worked!” In short, it doesn't go down easily. And then there’s the childhood wounds . Those are even tougher to swallow. Because this idea of responsibility seems to challenge something fundamental: the fact that we were just kids. Our minds spiral quickly: “I was just a child!” “My parents were adults—they shouldn't have behaved that way!” “I would never treat my children the way my mother treated me!” That's where we really get stuck. Responsible ≠ Guilty Here's where we often get confused: We mix up responsibility  and guilt . We tend to think that if we’re responsible  for a situation, then we're guilty  of causing it (almost as if we "deserved it"). But that’s not what Lise Bourbeau means. Being responsible isn't about beating yourself up and thinking “everything’s my fault.” It's actually the opposite. (But more on that in a future article 😉.) Our ego hates this concept The second important thing to grasp is that the voice rising in rebellion inside us, yelling how absurd this all is… well, that’s not really us . That’s our ego . And our ego is panicking, because this concept of responsibility undermines its entire defense system . Think of your ego as your personal bodyguard. It protects you from painful situations, trying to ensure they never happen again. To your ego, the culprit is always the other: the unloving parent, the cheating partner, the tyrannical boss… In short, we’re the victims . And our ego wants to make sure we never forget that. Unlearning what we’ve learned Since forever, we've been taught there's always a hero  and a villain . A culprit  and a victim . So when we first hear about this idea of responsibility, it’s a shock. It feels like someone telling us: “Everything’s your fault.” But that's not what it is. We need to understand that as long as we're stuck in this perception, we can’t move forward . As Don Miguel Ruiz says beautifully in The Four Agreements , we have to unlearn what we've learned . To deconstruct these beliefs, to see things from a fresh angle. Responsibility, a key to healing In Lise Bourbeau’s spiritual perspective, responsibility  isn't a punishment. It's an invitation to grow . The idea is that our soul attracts certain situations or people  to allow us to live very specific experiences. Yes, sometimes painful experiences. But always carrying a message . The goal? To help us shed light on our unhealed wounds … so we can finally heal them. And I won’t lie to you: accepting this is a real challenge. A huge one. But it’s also an enormous liberation . Because when we stop waiting for others to fix us, when we stop looking for someone to blame, we reclaim our power . And that’s where the real work begins. A long journey… but the most beautiful one of all. Taking responsibility brings us toward acceptance , another cornerstone of Lise Bourbeau’s teachings (and if you find responsibility tough to swallow, brace yourself—acceptance is next-level stuff! 😅). The journey is long  and intense . But it’s fascinating . Step by little step, it invites us to rediscover ourselves . Or maybe even… to truly discover ourselves, for the first time . Seven years ago, I decided to start this journey. And it’s the greatest gift I've ever given myself. So if this speaks to you, if it resonates somewhere deep within, If you, too, want to explore these ideas and see where they might lead… Join me on this adventure.  🚀